#6 After Party Effects

Michael sat in his office staring at his desk toys. He was in deep thought about his relationship with Jan. She had been at his home and staying with himover 2 weeks since she had been fired from Dunder Mifflin. He loved the sex and boob job, but he still felt unsettled about something.

He looked a photo that she had given him to place on his desk. It was a wonderful shot of her that he had taken with her wearing a Hooter’s tank top. Now that she had a pair herself, the shirt fit very well.

Dwight, always first into the office, knocked on his office door. Michael waved him in.

“Michael, you’re here early.” Dwight said enthusiastically. “You threw an outstanding party on Friday night!”

“Thank you, kind sir. It’s a gift.” Michael said, still pleased with the results. He was about to send Dwight to make coffee, but then remembered something. “Dwight, did I drink too much, or was that Angela that I saw you adhered to on Friday night?”

Dwight headshot: “Angela had a bit too much to drink at Michael’s party and our relationship was exposed to the others. I am actually very pleased with this development. I don’t drink alcohol. I like to be in control at all times. Control is one of the cornerstones to my life. I must and will control all that I am in control of. I tried to drink once and don’t remember much about that night. All I know is that the next morning my goats had run away and somehow Mose ended up in some Cathouse in Nevada. I am proud to say, I have never touched a drop of liquor since.”

Dwight flushed and looked away. He had been hoping that everyone was too drunk to remember him and Angela flaunting their love for all to see. Or at least forget Angela’s wild behavior. He didn’t really mind, but he knew Angela would be devastated. “I…oh…we got a little drunk. I don’t remember much from that night.”

“Dwight you were sober as a rock and you drove her home.” Michael stated.

“Ok Michael,” Dwight said apologetically. “Yes, Angela and I have been seeing each other for a while. But we both feel that it doesn’t have a place at the office and that we will be strictly professional.”

Michael mulled this over for a few seconds. Dwight stood there, red-faced and anxious.

“Well good for you. You’re gonna have to get one of those love contracts from Toby.” Michael said. He thought of Friday night again and added. “Better get Jim and Pam and Kelly and Andy one of those too.”

Dwight frowned and asked, “Jim, Pam, Kelly and Andy? Who’s dating who?”

“You can sort that one out.” Michael said dismissively. Dwight left his office.

Michael Headshot: It appears that Dunder Mifflin has turned in to a vari…vaig...variable Love Shack! Lots of love going around here at the old DM. D.M. could stand for Do Me.” Michael rolls his eyes and gives a big smile, “Pam and Jim, well that was in-evi-table. Dwight and Angela, yuck! Andy and Kelly, what a Freak fest! And…me and Jan and I don’t quite know what that is…yet. I feel a little like Captain Stubuen on the Love Boat. Pam is the cruise director, Jim is Doc, Stanley is Isaac and Dwight would be the Gopher.”

In the parking lot, Jim’s car arrived. He took stopped the engine and looked over at Pam in the passenger seat. She smiled sweetly at him and looked out the window at the office building.

“Well this is it.” She said, “We are officially a couple in the eyes of everyone. Nervous?”

“No,” Jim said and he reached over as squeezed her hand, “This is the way it should have been all along.”

Pam gave him a big grin and squeezed his hand back.

They got out of the car and walked towards the entrance. Oscar drove his car up and got out as they walked past his car. Jim looked over at Oscar, noticing the tired expression on Oscar’s face. Oscar saw that Jim was holding Pam’s hand.

“You know, Kevin, Meredith and I, have had an ongoing pool as to when you two would finally hook up.” Oscar smiled.

Jim smiled back and asked, “Really! Who won?”

“Actually Meredith,” Oscar replied, “She said that it would be at least a week after both of you became single at the same time. I owe her a bottle of Grey Goose. I guess women are more attuned to this kind of thing.”

Pam laughed, “Was it that obvious?”

“Only to those of us who watched from the sidelines” Oscar said, “Although, I tell you, no one saw Dwight and Angela! That was a real doozy!”

Jim and Pam looked at each other and giggled, “We knew!”

“Well I guess I’m not the only one who was in a closet for much of my time here.” Oscar chimed in. They entered the building.

Jim walked with Pam to her desk. He looked over and saw Dwight sitting at his desk and avoiding their glance. He leaned over and gave Pam a small kiss on the lips. She flushed for a second and then smiled.

“See you later honey,” Jim said softly, “I have always wanted to do that.”

“Well, I guess I will see you after work?” Pam said, indicating his chair only 5 feet from her desk.

“Oh, I’ll try and make some time to visit you.” Jim replied.

She pushed him towards his desk, “Call me whenever you get a break.”

Jim Headshot: “Yes, Pam and I are out in the open now. I’m about as happy as I think I could ever be right now. The only thing that could make this any better would be a different career for both of us. We spent a nice weekend together. I have no complaints today. I can’t think of a thing to criticize. I might even like Dwight today.”

Pam Headshot: “It feels so weird, but so good. I feel like I’m dreaming. Jim reserved us a B&B in Connecticut for July 4th weekend. I am so excited. We are gonna do…well…we are going to have a nice time together. I have to go shopping and buy some new lingerie. I only have a bunch of granny panties and that robe Michael bought me!” She blushed.

Kevin walked in and smiled at Pam. He passed Michael’s office and glanced in, but looked away quickly. He giggled to himself and tapped Jim on the back. Jim looked up at him and they exchanged silent expressions of acknowledgement. The existence of the Michael and Jan sex tape was becoming an odd bond for the men. Kevin did the same with Oscar.

Angela arrived with the rest of the crew. She was very pale. She made no eye contact and even avoided looking at Dwight. Dwight watched her walk by. She sat stiffly at her desk and proceeded to get to the business at hand. Both were was acutely aware of everyone else watching them and their reactions.

When Karen came in, she breezed by everyone in the front with no acknowledgement and went straight to the annex. Lastly, Andy, Kelly and Meredith arrived. Kelly clung to Andy’s arm as if it were life support. She made kissing noises at him and flitted back to her desk in the Annex. Andy looked very uncomfortable. He sat at his desk and didn’t say hello to anyone, which was strange for Andy. Meredith looked the same as usual, tired and hung-over.

Jim turned towards his desk and turned on his computer. Dwight put a pen down and looked over at him.

“You and Pam will formally have to fill out one of the standard Employment forms for Interdepartmental Relationships Agreement.”

“Bring it on.” Jim said, swaying back in his desk chair. He placed his hands in back of his head and looked lazily at Dwight. “What about you and Angela?”

Dwight looked taken aback. He hated that Jim knew his personal business, “Not your beeswax.”
“But Dwight wasn’t that you and Angela pressed together in a hot sweaty mass of love I saw at Michael’s party?” Jim said innocently.

“Yeah, Dwight.” Andy interjected, suddenly having regained his composure and joining in the conversation. “That was some pretty hot stuff. Is it true about the blondes?”

“Shut!” Dwight said sternly, sitting bolt upright and glowering at Jim. “That situation will be taken care of. Michael has made me in charge of getting all people involved with each other romantically to fill out the proper form. The rest of the details do not require of your attention.”

“But, Dwight.” Jim said, sensing Dwight’s discomfort, “I thought we would talk mano e’ mano about our hot dates.” Jim gave an exaggerated confused look and then as if struck by a thought exclaimed, “Oh, I get it. Maybe you’re not in a relationship with Angela. Was it the booze? I know she was very drunk. I understand that too much alcohol can make a person find themselves attracted to even the most hideous creature. But I didn’t think she was that drunk…”

“I love Angela and she loves me!” Dwight said quickly and loudly. Oscar turned around and smiled. Kevin giggled behind his cubicle. Andy rolled his eyes. There was a loud thunk as Angela slammed down her calculator on her desk. She stared pitchforks into Kevin who watched her gleefully through the cubicle glass.

Michael heard the voices and came out to join in. He saw Jim and Kevin laughing. Dwight looking very flustered.

“What’s going on in here guys? We discussing our chicks?” He said, wanting to be involved.

“Yes siree BOB, “Andy laughed, “Everyone here was getting sexed up over the weekend!”
Jim and the rest looked at Andy’s extremely inappropriate comment. Kelly, who had been walking around the corner picked up a stapler and threw it at him.

“You liar?” she said, “We did not have sex!”

Andy’s smile faded and he stood and followed Kelly as she walked quickly to the annex.

Kevin leaned over in Oscar’s direction and whispered. “What about you Oscar, did you get “sexed up” with that lady with the mustache and big boobs? Are you converted?” He giggled again.

“Carmen is a respectable woman! She did not go home with Oscar!” Angela interjected.

“Well, she went home with someone.” Kevin said, “I know she didn’t go home with you. And what happened to your brother? You drove both of them there and you left over Dwight’s shoulder. Boy, were you loaded.” Kevin guffawed. Angela blushed and jabbed the keys on your computer.

“I’m sure they both found their way home ok!” She interrupted quickly, “I had lunch with my brother the next day and he was fine,”

Oscar looked down and suddenly seemed very interested in the mathematical figures spreadsheet on his desk. Kevin looked over at him and then at angry Angela. He gave up and turned to surf the Internet.

Oscar headshot: “Yes, I left with Angela’s brother Brett. I have no regrets. He is a great guy. Angela has no idea he’s gay. She apparently thinks that homosexuality could never exist in her family. Brett told me he has not quite figured out how to get the message through to Angela. The rest of his family knows, but Angela has blocked it out. We’re going out again tonight.” He grinned.

Creed walked past their desks. He stopped at Angela’s desk and stood there until she looked up.
“I just want to thank you for bringing Carmen to the party.” Creed said nicely, “She was a delightful lady and quite a little tiger in the bedroom.” Angela stood and stormed towards the bathroom. Dwight seeing her pass immediately got up and followed.

Creed headshot: “Although I do like to be discreet with my lady friends, I found this woman very interesting and worthy of some narration. I will be going into further detail on my Blog. I am happy to report that they were 100% real baby.”

Michael was talking on the phone with Jan. She was complaining about the neighbor’s incessant barking beagle and how they should notify the Condo board. Michael just listened and tuned her out. Jim came into his office. Michael made an excuse to Jan, placing the phone down firmly.
“Michael, the party was nice. Thanks for the invite.” Jim said, “Do you want those reports from the University sales?”

“Jim, how do you break up of a woman? You seem rather good at it.” Michael asked exasperatedly. “Jan has been visiting me for a few days and I have no control in my own house anymore!”

“I thought you two were living together?” Jim asked, ignoring the comment on his “breaking up” skills.

“Nope, she’s just spending a few days.” Michael said.

“Does she have another home?” Jim asked.

“No, her apartment in New York was just leased.” Michael said.

“Where is her stuff?” Jim asked, “Her clothes, furniture, items?”

“She didn’t have much after the divorce. She has some clothes and things at my place.” Michael replied.

“She has no other home. Her stuff is at your place. She has no job.” Jim surmised, “Sounds like she is living with you.”

“No, No…” Michael said in denial.

“Michael, she’s running for president of your Condo board.” Jim stated firmly.

Michael sat in thought for a moment and the reality dawned on him. He put his head in his hands and shook it slowly, “Oh my god! I’m shacking up with Jan!”

Jim looked at Michael and shook his head in agreement.

Michael headshot: “Apparently, I am now living with Jan. I was cool with it at first. She cleans and cooks. All my suits are taken to the cleaners. The laundry is fresh. It’s just like having a great housekeeper, except I get to have sex with her. But I’m not sure I am ready to say I live with her!”

Michael looked up and an idea sparked.

“Jim, tell my beotches to rally in the conference room.” Jim looked at him questioningly.

“The women of the office, tell them it’s a code red.” Michael said. “Inform Pam, she’ll tell them. Oh, by the way. Glad to see you finally got your girl.”

Jim smiled appreciatively, “You told me to never give up.”

Michael was touched at the comment. He threw some paperwork around and placed his attention back to the Jan situation.

Jim walked over to Pam’s desk. She smiled brightly up at him. He leaned over and took a jelly bean from the decanter. They just stared at each other for a moment before Jim talked.

“Pam,” Jim said, tapping the counter. “I come here on important business. Michael would like you to gather the ladies together for a post party, “Oh My God” Jan is living with me, code red meeting in the conference room.”

Pam laughed and shook her head in amazement. She reached up and took his hand and pulled him towards her. He leaned in and whispered, “You pull any farther, I am going to fall in there and ravish you for the whole office to see.” They both grinned at each other wickedly.

“If you two would like to reserve a hotel room, the rest of us could just stay here and get business done.” Karen said icily as she stood there at the copier. Pam looked down guiltily and started typing an e-mail to the women in the office. She wondered whether to include Karen on the list, and decided that Michael would want all their opinions and wouldn’t care that there was bad feeling among them.

Jim shrugged back to his desk. He gave Karen a glare back as she watched him with a withering eye. He thought a moment and walked over with her as she went to her desk.

“Is this the way it’s going to be? It’s been two weeks and I am not going to hide that I am dating her.” He said, but seeing a flash pain on Karen’s face, he softened. “Listen, I know you’re leaving soon if the new position in New York goes through, I will try to be a little more sensitive until then. I’m sorry you got pulled into this.”

“Never mind, I‘m a big girl.” She relied curtly, not meeting his eyes as she looked down and arranged some papers on her desk. “I haven’t told Michael yet, but my last day is Friday. I have taken a job with Staples. I’ll be transferring back to Stamford. You two can screw each other sideways in the break room after that for all I care.” She said nastily. Jim stood for a second and then turned back to his desk. He smiled over at Pam and she gave him a small weak smile. He winked, making her blush.

to be continued...